


Kaleidoscope

by PallasRubiaOrigins



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: F/M, Glitter, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:41:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PallasRubiaOrigins/pseuds/PallasRubiaOrigins
Summary: Sarah's run through the Labyrinth. And what happened after that. Seen through the eyes of the other characters.
Relationships: Jareth & Sarah Williams
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Hoggle

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything related to the movie Labyrinth (1986) or the movie The Hunger (1983)  
> I am not making any money from writing this story, it is merely meant to amuse myself and others.  
> Please do not repost my stories without my consent.
> 
> I began this fic with the idea to create a series of interviews, and then I thought "Who cares about the questions? I need answers!" So, I wrote the answers and added action tags to work on later. And then it started reading like the debriefings in reality TV shows, and I kept it that way. The chapters are very short. More like vignettes than stories. I will probably use some of these for more elaborate scenes in other WIPs. So yes, if you read something familiar, it's me copying/inspiring myself!

“I knew she'd be trouble the moment I clapped eyes on 'er.”

[shrugs] “Total coward I was. Did nay deserve 'er friendship. I keep them plastic gems in me pouch these days, the strin' be completely worn an' I do nay want to lose them...”

[sighs] “He was in the foulest o' moods after she left. Kept threatenin' to bog me fer no reason at all.”

“Then he disappeared for a while. Ne'er found out why. Heard some rumours about the High King summonin' him...”

“When he came back it was even worse. Kept boggin' goblins and makin' me wash them before they spread the muck all o'er the Castle.”

“Runners got the brunt of it though. Do nay think any of them made it beyon' the outer pathways...”

[pauses] [thinks]

“He kept comin' an' goin'. Askin' weird questions about friendship. As if I'd know... Hoggle is only Hoggle's friend.

[grumbles] Kept me from my work, he did. Fairies took o'er me pickle patch...”

[frowns] “Then there was that time when he flew o'er the Labyrinth an' threw glitter all o'er it. Yuck. Even the Bog was sparkling.” [shudders]

[narrows eyes] [whispers] “I reckon he was gloatin' about something ghoulish he'd done... this infernal screamin' comin' from the Castle the night before...” [grimaces]

[widens eyes] [makes wide arm gesture] “Blimey, me eyes popped when she showed up on his arm. Brought me a huge jar o' sweet 'n sour pickles and _kissed_ me. Ne'er been more frightened in me entire life!”

[whistles] “He did nay bog me for _that_. Got lucky there me thinks.”

[pauses] [thinks]

“I haven't the foggiest what she sees in him. Love must be blind _an' deaf_.”

[shakes head] “That rat better be kissin' 'er feet for puttin' up with his shenanigans.”


	2. The Fairies

“She was so _innocent_ when she first came here.” [puts hands on heart]

[flutters eyelashes] “She thought we'd be granting wishes and shit.”

[snorts] “It was hilarious.” [laughs out loud]

“I liked her better when she came back. Cussed out the King good.”

“You mean she cussed _you_ out. What did she call you again, Daisy? 'A poxy excuse for a dragonfly'?” [sticks out tongue]

“Fuck you, bitch!”

[rolls eyes] [grins] “She said she'd pull out your wings, roll you in them, and smoke you like a joint.” [laughs out loud]

“We're besties now. You're just a jealous hoe, Lily.”

[sneers] [sticks up middle finger] “Dream on, you fucking cunt!”

[rolls eyes] [ignores Lily] “She'll be a BAMF Queen. That's what I say.”


	3. The Worm & his Wife

[frowns] “I was polite to her. Said 'allo' like my mother – bless her soul – taught me. Invited her in to meet the missus. She refused.” [pouts]

“Maybe she didn't understand. She _did_ ask you if you said 'hello'.”

“She almost went the wrong way. Would've gone straight to that Castle.” [grimaces] “Nobody wants to go _there_.” [shakes head]

“You put her on the right path.” [nods]

[nods] “She came back for tea a while ago. Brought a nice tin of biscuits too.”

“I thought that tin was a sewing kit, but there were cookies in it. Delicious home-made cookies.”

[frowns] “Biscuits.”

[frowns] “Cookies.”

[exasperated sigh] “Them were biscuits, woman, for tea. Cookies are for milk. Even the eye lichen can see that.”

[shrugs] “You put milk in your tea. So them were cookies.”

[rolls eyes] “This is why I feel the need to talk to strangers in the Labyrinth. Because there is just no talkin' to _you_.” [shakes head]


	4. The Four Guards (Alph & Ralph / Jim & Tim)

“We were utterly unprepared.” [shakes head]

“The King told us to confuse her with a riddle. Just before she showed up at our doors.”

“We can confuse people, we're good at that, but we ain't no sphinxes.”

“Really, a riddle? I can't even tell a joke right.” [grins]

[nods] “Had to come up with something fast.”

“We didn't even have time to agree on who would tell the truth and who would lie.”

[widens eyes] [raises voice] “She confused me! With her weird question. I never did understand that riddle myself!”

[lowers voice] [conspirational whisper] “Between you and me, we would have told her which door to take if she hadn't been so quick at picking one.”

[looks at brother] “Was it the right one?”

[raises eyebrows] “I guess... She came back, didn't she?”

[nods] “Yeah, that she did. Told us something about a Queen. [looks at brother] Did you get that?”

[shakes head] “Nope. Just seeing her back here confused me. Runners aren't supposed to show up on the King's arm.”

[looks dreamily to the sky] “She really was smart. I think I might be in love...”

[looks at brother] “What?”

[looks at brother] “What?”


	5. The Helping Hands

“She really didn't know what she wanted.”

“'Up or down?' She couldn't even make up her mind. Tsk. Tsk.”

“I heard she is back though.”

“Really? Do you think she will pass this way again?”

“The King introduced her to the [makes quotation marks] _other helping hands_.”

“Did he now?”

[fan themselves]

“'Up or down' isn't the only question she will be getting from _them_.”

[make smiling faces]


	6. The Wiseman & his Hat

“The way forward is sometimes the way back.”

[shakes head] “That old crap again? Sheesh...”

“Sarah Williams returned to us.”

“And that's what made the shit really hit the fan.”

[frowns] “Some blessings come in disguise.”

“Blessed be who gets to sit on her... ehm...” [looks away]

[frowns] “With you, we will never get anywhere...” [falls asleep]

[sighs] [whispers] “It's so stimulating being your hat... not.”


	7. Ludo

[blinks]

“Sarah fwend. Ludo happy.”

[moans] “King no fwend.”

[roars] “Ludo new brother.”

[shakes head] “Sarah gone. Ludo sad...” [bows head]

[lifts head up] [grins] “Sarah back. Shiny stone! New fwend! Ludo happy!”

[flaps ears] “Sarah fwend! King fwend! King happy!”

[grins wider]


	8. The Door Knockers

“Sarah Williams? Search me, we're just the knockers.” [laughs]

“I remember her. She was rude, staring and all.”

“Yeah... And clueless! Didn't know which door to choose.”

[snorts] “Didn't know you just have to knock to open a door.”

[rolls eyes] “Asked 'what's behind the doors?'”

“She was still a better conversational companion than you. You just mumble nonsense.”

“Why do you care? You're deaf as a post anyway. All you do is moan.”

[hmpfs] [rolls eyes]

“Yeah, exactly like that.”


	9. The Fire Gang

“We just wanted to show her a good time. Got a bit carried away.”

“The King did tell us not to hurt her. Not really. Just rough her up a little.”

“I never expected to see her again. I was a bit sad actually when she left. She was chill.”

[literally throws arms in the air] “She was inspirational! She changed the rules of head-ball!”

“She played the best game of head-ball with us when she came back.”

[grins] “King didn't want to play.”

[snickers] “King was afraid his hair'd get messed up.”

[slaps other Firey upside the head] “Can't talk about the King like that, he'll have you dismembered!”

[exchange meaningful glances]

[snort] [snicker]

[laugh out loud]


	10. The False Alarms / Phony Warnings

“We told him she was trouble.”

“Nobody ever believes us.”

“We also told him she was worth fighting for.”

“No idea why he believed us that time.”

“It was nice saying that though, I used my booming-est voice for it.”

[groans] “And then you said it another fifty times The echo still hasn't dissipated...”

“So what?”

“What 'so what'? You like hearing yourself talk, don't you?”

“You really are unbelievable.”


	11. Sir Didymus & Ambrosius

[struts] “The bards will sing about the great Battle for the Bridge over the Bog for centuries to come.”

[stands tall] [brandishes staff] “I lost a bridge, but gained a brother! And a new and worthy mission: to protect Lady Sarah with my life's blood!”

“Verily, Lady Sarah has a keen intellect. Valiant she is too!”

[brandishes staff] For an honourable knight such as myself there was no other choice than to put myself at her service. I shall fight anyone anywhere any place anytime, until I perish in her defence.

[bows head] “She was greatly missed when she left.”

[raises head] [brandishes staff] “But lo! She returned to us and took her rightful place beside our beloved King!”

[grins proudly] ”The King himself presented me with the Order of Lutin for services to the Queen!”

[pats Ambrosius on the head] “My trusty steed Ambrosius was equally moved when he laid eyes upon her once more.”

[Ambrosius wags tail] [barks]

“She plays a mean game of Scrabble too!” [nods in approval]


	12. The Fae Courtiers

“I told him he was a fool for going after her. Told it to his face, that's what I did.”

“Oh, get off it, Aleanna, you just wanted him for yourself.”

“Look who's talking, Porthos, you bend over if he so much as sneezes in your direction, so shut the fuck up.”

[snorts] “He proved you wrong, didn't he? He went after her and got her. Haha! Joke's on you!”

“We shall see how long this lasts. Forever. Not long at all. Whatever.” [waves hand dismissively]

[puts hands on heart] “I think it's totally romantic. She beat him at his own game, and he still fights for her love. It's soo...” [swoons]

[rolls eyes] “Ugh, Helonia, you and your icky romance stories. It's all about power with him. He let her win. Nothing romantic about it.”

[raises eyebrows] “He let her win? By the old gods...”

[shrugs] “He gave her certain powers. How else could she have eaten the peach and remembered everything?”

[purses lips] “He risked his life. If he really did gave her certain powers, that is.”

[makes wide gesture] “That's why they put him on trial! Runners aren't supposed to survive! I heard the High Queen herself had her eye on that babe.”

[nods] “Yeah, that trial, that was serious business. Almost got stripped of his powers. Not sure how he got out of that one.”

[gapes] “By the hells, you don't know that? He claimed he 'loved' her! And those fools of the Tribunal were gullible enough to believe him.”

[rolls eyes] “Love? Don't make me laugh. Jareth only loves himself.”

[smirks] “Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered he got in her pants. Haha!”

[purses lips] “He got in _her_ pants? She's got _him_ by the crystals more like.”

“He does throw amazing parties, and this one will be the biggest one yet.”

[snorts] “So curious to see what kind of concoction of gossamer and tinsel he has put her in for the big day.”

“It'll be better than the rags you are wearing. Push those tits up any further and they can make friends with your double chin.” [snorts]

[throws hand mirror] “Go suck a bunch of dicks, asshole.”

[smirks] “Don't mind if I do.”


	13. Agnes, the Junk Lady

“She was kind of clueless, not knowing where she was going.”

[glares] “She was very rude too. Calling all these beautiful things 'junk'.”

[thinks] “But then she came back and apologised.”

[thinks] “We might still be friends.”

[mumbles] “I should find her a nice gift. I must have something suitable around here somewhere.” [rummages]


	14. The Goblins

“Queenie come, Kingy happy. Dance magic dance!”

[hopping up and down] [cheering]

“Queenie go. No magic dance. Only kicking goblins.”

[sad faces]

“Kicking goblins good.”

“No!”

“Yes!”

[scuffle]

“Queenie come back. But no magic dance.”

“And no kicking goblins.”

[sad faces]

“Goblins sad.”

“Maybe Queenie come to kick goblins.”

“Queenie only kick Kingy.”

“Good!”

“No!”

[scuffle]

“Goblins want magic dance.”

“Goblins want kicking.”

“And chickens!”

[happy grins]


	15. Sarah

“Sometimes I think about my run and... really... I was _such_ a brat. But then again, I was _just_ bratty enough to match his immature behaviour. Throwing a snake at me? Childish...”

[rolls eyes] “I really thought I was rid of him when I told him he had no power over me.”

[muses] “Yeah, I guess I did think about what would have happened if... but not until much later. At the time, I didn't have a clue what all the leaning-in and walking straight through me was all about.”

[rolls eyes] “And don't get me started about his pants. I really did _not_ need to see that at fifteen...”

[looks away] [mutters to herself] I _have_ come to appreciate them though...”

“Imagine my surprise when he showed up again when I least expected him to. The smugness of him. Strutting and speechifying no end. [deep voice] “'Sarah, I have come to make you my Queen' [normal voice] [ rolls eyes] “Ugh, as if...”

[narrows eyes] [wags finger] “Show me some respect, wine and dine me properly, and treat me like a lady, and then _maybe_ I will consider a second date.”

[cocks head] “Have to give it to him, he was nothing if not persistent. Did everything right. Even in my world – _obviously_ I refused to go back to the Underground for a long time.”

[grins] “I did take the piss a bit. Maybe a bit more than that.”

[smirks] “I actually cock-blocked him until his crystals turned blue. Served him right though, arrogant bastard. No every woman falls at his high-heeled boots because of a little glitter and a cape.”

[gapes in shock] “None of your business!”

[leans in] [lowers voice] [conspirational tone] “Of course, I am not a virgin bride... [winks] “Gotta find out about that before saying 'I do'. This _is_ the 20th century.”

[grins] [wiggles eyebrows] “I was _not_ disappointed.”

[purses lips] “Taken all together, he _is_ quite a catch. Even if he _is_ spoiled and annoying as fuck.”

[muses] “My mother – Linda Williams, the actress, you know her? – did always tell me not to wait for Prince Charming, but to find myself a King. She'd be proud of me.”

[runs hands down body] “The dress is of course my own design. Not that poof-y fashion-crime he put me in last time. I _do_ have style. Unlike some.”

[waves hand dismissively] “All is fair in love and war. It was a piece of cake really, getting him to do my bidding.” [giggles]

[stared dreamily into the middle distance] “He _is_ kinda cute when he is in his owl-form...”

[muses] “I need to see if Hoggle can get me a large cage...” [grins mischievously]


	16. Jareth

[looks in mirror] [turns] “No, this won't do!”

“But Your Majesty...”

[narrows eyes] “Are you daft? Contoured, I said. Con-tou-red.”

“But Your Majesty, I cannot make your pants any tighter, there is the issue of you breathing...?”

[puts hands on hips] [looks in mirror] “The crown jewels have to be front and centre.”

“But Your Majesty...”

[snarls] “Do it, or it's the Bog for you.”

[blanches] “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“And this jacket still isn't sparkly enough! Can't you get _any_ thing right?” [throws jacket]

[picks jacket off the floor] “Yes, Your Majesty. I mean, no, Your Majesty. I mean, yes, Your Majesty.”

[waves hand dismissively] “Get out of my sight and don't come back before you have fixed this disaster!”

“Yes, Your Majesty.” [bows] [exits backwards]

[pinches bridge of nose] “I ask for so little...”

[conjures up crystals] [idly contact-juggles crystals]


End file.
